Not My Own
by ebonyquill
Summary: DISCONTINUED. Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon herself. Never fall in love. RLNB What happens when fire..and ice clash.
1. Chapter One

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Not My Own

Author: EbonyQuill

Summary: Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon her. _"Never fall in love." _RL/NB What happens when fire..and ice clash. 

Disclaimer: I do not own any thing, situation, character, etc. etc. They all belong to Joann Kathleen Rowling. 

A/N: My first Remus Lupin and Narcissa Black, I was inspired by _Electryone's_ Frozen Dreams. I hope to live up to most expectations..onwards with my new love..

Disturbed waters were flowing violently, shaking to and fro, taking no mercy. Raging in the moonlight, mad at all its disrupters. _Splash. _Raindrops fell onto the water, causing more confused anger to the ice-cold liquid. Moving in an unorganized way, it headed southwards, towards the enchanted warm castle. All the castle's inhabitants asleep.. except for one.

I watched the terrible winds pick up and saw the first few raindrops fall. It was beautiful in my own eyes, never mind the hazardous conditions. I envied how the water was so free to do whatever it wanted, to go wherever it wanted, to be whoever it wanted. _Wanted._ I never got what I wanted..unless money could pay for it. But love couldn't be paid for. I watched as the old wax candle flickered, why did I use such a "muggle" contraption? Because, it showed more work, and more work shows more love. At least..that's how I always thought of it. Love was something I despised, yet yearned for. I was taught to never love, to never fall in love. But everytime I saw a hug exchanged or an adoring glance shared, I felt envy, a feeling of "want." 

My own family showed no love. They followed the motto "Only the fittest survive." You showed emotion, you were weak. That's why I am called the "Ice Queen" between my fellow classmates. A harsh term, but I can't help but agree. I was instructed to show no emotion, unless it was hate or scorn. My father Dorian, showed no love to my mother, just a few careless glances. I doubt his dark gray eyes ever showed love, but I did see it flicker once. But I won't go into details. My mother, Jedia, showed no compassion at all, except to my Grandmother, or it was just respect. Respect and love are not the same. I learned that a long time ago. My oldest sister, Bellatrix, showed no emotion, she was this quiet storm. Once hit by the storm, the ruins stay with you forever. After her is Andromeda. _Oh dearest Andie, how I long to see you once again._ I have a great love and respect for her. She stood up to my mother and father, defying their rules and marrying a Muggle Born. But of course Mother will never allow me to visit her as long as I'm under her roof. Andromeda is now pregnant with first child. Nymphadora. I had suggested her that name when I was quite young, I adored all fairy tale things, nymphs my favorite, we were discussing how our lives would be in the far future. I was five at the time, Andromeda nine and Bellatrix eleven, away at Hogwarts. Andromeda was going to name her first daughter Nymphadora to remind me to never loose hope and fairy tales do exist. Mother flushed those thoughts away from my mind. And I'm still returning the favor. 

I watched the candle flicker again. It flickered continuously, just like my heart. My heart and all its feeling was dying away, rotting away. As the candle finally flickered out, I saw lightning. It reminded me of what Andromeda would always say. _When all lights are out, another match is lit._ She had a weird sense of philosophy, but I adored her for that. I couldn't help thinking of how I was a lost soul, as I've read in many books. _A lost soul, with nothing to hold on to._ Those words hit me with a full force blast. I had nothing to hold onto. And all I ever loved was a lie. Except Nymphadora. Most people would think I was "snobby, too good to hang around some people, a bitch with the perfect life," but I just think with my eyes closed, 'They have no idea.' 

I finally went to my green and silver bed, pulling the material over me. _Silk._ I was covered by silk. I could relate to silk. I was fawned over, if I was ripped I was ruined. If I was soiled, I was disowned. If I was disregardful, I would be thrown away. And I drifted off to the dreams of love.

A/N: Very short chapter. I'm sorry, but I wanted to get a few encouraging reviews before I wrote again..maybe..five? Thanks a lot. Review please!


	2. Chapter Two

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Not My Own

Author: EbonyQuill

Summary: Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon her. _"Never fall in love." _RL/NB What happens when fire..and ice clash. 

Disclaimer: You know the drill..;P

A/N: Thanks to IvyCrane, Electroyne, and Morgane.. I lied I love writing this story so I'm giving you another chapter now..lol.

I watched the doors of the Great Hall, waiting for my dear Ravenclaw friend Dana Mills. She was a pureblood, so mother and father approved of our friendship, not like many others. My eyes clouded over when the doors opened to a shaggy black-haired teenager. I closed my eyes, thinking of the similarities Sirius and I had.. our gray eyes for instance. But they were different, his were warm. Mine.. were just dark, a similar shade to black. He looked my way, his eyes flashing with sympathy, just for a millisecond and back to the warm laughter he always felt with his friends. I watched them walk over to the Slytherin table. Peter Pettigrew. A **sniveling coward**, I had seen him talk with Lucius and Severus at times..I don't know why though. Short and plump just like a rat. James Potter. Golden Boy..enough said. Remus Lupin. Shy, tired looking, but extremely cute.

Sirius gave me a look of sympathy. "Oh dearest Narcissa, does it hurt?"

"Does what hurt?" Crabbe asked. The blubbering idiot. I heard Sirius and his friends crack up, then Sirius stood in his superior stature once again.

Sirius gave Crabbe a look of mock shock. "My god, Crabbe actually stringed a sentence together. Gasp."

"Fuck off, Black." Lucius said, backing his friends up.

"Make me, Malfoy."

"Gladly." Lucius and Sirius were head to head glaring. Remus coughed.

"Come on Padfoot, we don't want to make a scene with the Professor's watching."

"Aw. Is Scrappy Loony Loopy Lupin scared?"

"Lucius, please knock it off." I pleaded softly.

"Fine but only because you asked so, dearest Narcissa." Lucius sided.

"Dear Narcissa, stay out of where your nose doesn't belong..or shall I say bed you don't belong to." Sirius rudely accused. My eyes closed.

"Sirius Orion Black, I know you didn't mean what you just said."

"Oh but dear Narcissa, Malfoy doesn't seem to be backing you up. And that concludes the.. _mentioned_." I stood up, slapped Sirius and walked out of the Great Hall. I heard almost all the girls gasp. Well, at least those who kissed the ground the "Marauders" walked on..what a pitiful name my cousin chose to name himself and his friends. And their _silly _nicknames, honestly. I started sobbing. I **hated** the way Sirius could hurt her like that, so easily. I felt weak, and weakness wasn't welcome for Slytherins. I mentally hit myself for forgetting Dana. I heard footsteps behind her and turned to see unfamiliar eyes, even though having seen them many times. 

~*~*~

The day had started out simply. That is, until we got to the Great Hall. Many girls sighed or giggled when we came in. It was to be expected, we **were** the Marauders. James welcomed the praise gladly, as did Sirius. Peter.. was just Peter. And I on the other hand hated it all. I just wanted a few people close to me. Or else.. they might find out my greatest and deepest secret and despise me when I gave them my trust and love. Secret?! No it's a **curse**. Yes, I, Remus J. Lupin, am a werewolf. 

Back to the Great Hall, I saw Sirius' eyes flicker, which usually meant he had found a victim. His eyes were fixed upon the Slytherin table, as always, but to a new prey.. Narcissa Black, his own flesh and blood. He practically skipped to the Slytherin table and James followed, then me, and as always, Peter last.

Padfoot mocked a face of sympathy. "Does it hurt Narcissa?" Inwardly, I laughed to myself, not even Narcissa could be dumb enough to continue the kindergarten level joke.

"Does what hurt?" Crabbe asked, quite stupidly, this time I didn't hold my laugh in.

"My god, Crabbe actually string a sentence together. Gasp." I heard Sirius say, I was still cracking up.

I stood up accordingly when I heard Lucius Malfoy curse, "Fuck off, Black." 

"Make me, Malfoy." I could almost hear the growl in the bottom of Sirius' throat as he said that.

Hoping to convince Sirius it wasn't worth it I said, "Come on Padfoot, we don't want to make a scene with the Professor's watching."

I saw Sirius gain a look of restrain and then a look of snooty pleasure, then back to his original glare when Malfoy commented.

"Aw. Is Scrappy Loony Loopy Lupin scared?" Then I heard a soft, melodic voice speak out.

"Fine but only because you asked so, dearest Narcissa." I was grateful for Narcissa's help in the matter.. I mean she wasn't really trying to help me.. she was just trying to restrain Malfoy before he lost points for Slytherin. Stupid Slytherin Girl.

Sirius had mocked at first, "Dear Narcissa, stay out of where your nose doesn't belong..or shall I say stay out of the bed you don't belong to," Sirius had finished. And my respect for him lowered. Just as eyes widened.

"Sirius Orion Black, I know you didn't mean what you just said." I heard Narcissa, I mean Black, say softly, but with a strong glare.

"Oh but dear Narcissa, Malfoy doesn't seem to be backing you up. And that concludes the.. _mentioned_." It was true though, Malfoy just sat there, and looking unfazed. I guess Narcissa wasn't as loved by him as some people thought. The _perfect Slytherin_ _couple_, was what they were called. I'd never heard Narcissa speak, except when called upon in Classes. She spoke with little confidence, but sweet and soft, yet with sophistication. Is that _possible_? 

Suddenly a sickening *SMACK* was heard. Narcissa, I mean Black, had stood up and slapped her cousin as fast as lightning and fled the Great Hall. I looked over to James and Peter, James had been flirting with a Hufflepuff that sat close by and Peter had been watching him, as if taking notes, but now they both were looking at Sirius, who was still in shock slowly putting his hand up to the bright red handprint that laid upon his right cheek. Malfoy stood up, glaring daggers at Sirius, as did Snape. I closed my eyes. A _fight_ was going to erupt. I didn't want to watch, so I quickly walked to our first class, Potions.

I knew I was going to get a scolding for ditching them, but I just couldn't handle it. I needed to breathe and I certainly couldn't do that between the glares. On the way to Potions, I noticed a head of long blonde hair and noticed he/she/it was shaking with sobs. The person, with lovely conditioned hair if I may add, turned around. It was the Ice Queen. 

_Narcissa Black._

A/N: I apologize again for the length of the chapters. I just had to make fillers and such. I'm sorry if this chapter was so predictable. I hate myself for writing it and posting it. But I must get to the important chapters. And don't fear.. I was just asking for 5 reviews to see for the response, AND I received three reviews from some of fanfiction.net's greatest writers. So I'm full of happiness. I NEED a beta-reader. If you would like to beta for me email me at angel_in_ruby@yahoo.com. I just suck at grammar and spelling. Review please!!


	3. Chapter Three

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Not My Own

Author: EbonyQuill

Summary: Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon her. _"Never fall in love." _RL/NB What happens when fire.. and ice clash. 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters.. and all that good stuff. They all belong to J.K. Rowling.

A/N: I'd like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed.. I'm amazed by the response for this story.. (**Ivy Crane**) I really appreciate it! I finally updated.. heh. Brownie points for reviewing twice! (**Electryone**) You know.. you're just the best.. you really are.. I'm so glad you're my beta.. you're writing is simply beautiful.. you must must must update _Frozen Dreams_ soon! Cake and Ice Cream points to you for being an awesome writer, my beta, and reviewing twice..lol. (**Morgane**) Remus/Narcissa is the next big thing.. just watch.. all the original writers will be run down by new ones.. one of the new ones being me..:D! (**SDRockGirl**) Hehe.. ya do? The Pinky People thank you..lol. (**ChristyCorr**) Thanks to you to for being my other beta..:D! Much happiness. Too many people love this.. hehe.. it's scaring me really.. it is.. I'm not a good writer, nor will I ever be.. so..haha. Cake and Ice Cream points to you too! You could get Smoothie points if you updated _Reason_.. lol just a thought. (**ElvenCherry07**) Actually, I replaced that last Author's Note on Internet Chat with chapter 5.. so.. go and check it out! Slytherins are fun to play with..lol. Brownie points to you too!

Whew.. done with that.. please review!!

~*~ **On With The Story**

Turning around, Narcissa wasn't ready for what her eyes placed themselves upon. 'Twas Remus Lupin of Pureblood folk. Why of all people, did it have to be him? Suddenly, he said something. The soft words, like a lullaby, were poison to her ears. She didn't entirely catch it; her eyes were filling with unshed tears and she felt a lump in her throat. She turned around again and walked away quickly, not wanting to hear his soothing voice again. It would give people rumors to spread, and rumors never lead to good things.

_Oh how wrong she was._

Narcissa sat down in her assigned seat, right next to Severus, Lucius behind her. When class began, she felt somebody concentrating on her back. She found it very uncomfortable**, **and didn't dare to turn around. She highly doubted that it was Severus, and assumed it was Sirius. The _asshole_. It was like that for the rest of the day. Sitting down at her seat, only to be violated by eyes. The violation made her feel naked, though fully clothed in her Hogwarts uniform.

During lunch, nothing happened, but a few glares were shared and still that feeling that she was being closely watched wouldn't go away. So, very carefully she looked around to see if anyone staring at her. She saw no one in particular burning into her clothes, but of course she might have not looked around fast enough to look around and the intruder might have turned away. Narcissa sighed, dismissing it. When she went to the Slytherin Common Room, the feeling left her. But once she got to Transfiguration the feeling came again. 

It wasn't until classes were over and she was safe in the Common Room that she felt relaxed. She sighed, thinking she was just paranoid. Resting on the cold hard green and silver couch she was surprised to see a tawny owl actually come to her. She looked at the addressor's name and messily opened the letter.

__

Narcissa,

Dear sister of mine, how is your sixth year? Best of the best I hope. I hope you are well. This letter shall be short and discreet, you never know when Mother is tracing our letters. She did it with me once. A letter to Ted, dire consequences.

My precious little sister, you are growing up so fast. I had seen the pictures Mother always sends me. -Narcissa remembered the pictures of herself Mother would always send Andromeda once a year, just to spite Andie and make her despair that she wouldn't be able to see Narcissa.- _Seeing the beautiful young lady you're coming out to be makes me regret ever having left you. _

How is Sirius? I hear one more "dishonorable hoax" and he's burned off the Noble House Of Black Family Tree. I hope he does, it would make me proud. And please don't tell me you two are still disputing over House differences. -Narcissa cringed, caused by her guilt.-

__

Sweetheart, I love you and don't forget that. Follow your heart with an open mind. What is laid on your platter isn't always what you must eat. And give Sirius a hug for me!! -Like Narcissa would ever touch that bastard.-

__

Love forever and a day,

Andromeda Tonks

Narcissa missed her sister dearly, knowing that they may never meet ever again. One tear found its way out and across her pale cheek. Quickly brushing it off, Narcissa ran up to her dorm, mad at the world. 

__

I hate my stupid, repulsive life. It seems to want to torture me and tease me. I did nothing to it. Except plague it. I wish to send my pain through these words. I wish to send my pain through my fists. Argh!! Narcissa thought, hating life. She heard the door creak open and close. She turned around glaring at the intruder. 

"What do you want?!" Narcissa practically screeched. Her face softened at the look on the young first year's face.

"I-I thought this was the Girls' First Year Dormitory. I'm terribly sorry." And before Narcissa could apologize to the young one, the girl ran out, close to sobs. Narcissa fell to the floor, the wooden desk as her foundation. Looking blankly ahead, she looked to be in deep thought. Her eyes glazed over, with a color of icy blue edged at the outer rim. 

The sun was blazing orange through the dormitory window as Narcissa awoke. She was leaning on the leg of a wooden table and thus had a stiff neck. Grateful that it was Friday she walked clumsily to her bed to lie down. Somehow she had picked up a horrid headache, not to mention she had slept on the leg of a table the whole afternoon. She groaned, the events before she fell into a deep sleep were coming back to her. And suddenly she realized.. she _was_ the _Ice Queen_. All the thoughts in her head exhausted Narcissa, so she fell into a slumber once more.

~*~

Remus was quite hurt and appalled by Narcissa's sudden departure, he only asked if she was alright. But however, he did understand that she was full of great sadness. He had seen the red eyes and tearsstains on her pure porcelain cheeks. He walked to Potions thinking to himself and when about to attempt to talk to Narcissa, he saw she had company. _Malfoy and Snape._ So he simply headed to the back of the room, scolding the two male Slytherins silently. He closed his eyes, then one eye opened after another as he chose it as his role to make sure nothing happened to Narcissa in her what seemed to be weakened state.

He made sure to be Narcissa's silent guardian, but at times his mind would drift off to thoughts of her silky blonde loosely curled hair and her milky pure porcelain skin. He quickly pulled those thoughts out of his mind, thinking it disgusting the way he thought of a _Slytherin_, his Slytherin.. 

__

NO!! was what Remus would scream at his thoughts, although no one could hear him. Like water, when it speaks no one hears, but when actions begin all is seen.

Remus sighed at the frustration going on with himself and his thoughts.

~*~ **The Next Day..**

Narcissa looked up at the clear blue sky, curse Care Of Magical Creatures. Their teacher, Mr. Kettleburn was a complete moron. He didn't have a clue of how to handle a _pixy _correctly. The imbecile. 

"Ms. Black, what is the florablink's weakest point?" A scratchy voice belonging to the Professor asked.

"Its eyes." Narcissa answered dully.

"Good good. And why?"

"Because, it's blind during the night, making it vulnerable. And it's very hard to breed florablinks, since they only find mates during the night." Narcissa answered, very close to yawning.

"Just like _some _Slytherins, eh Narcissa?" Someone rudely interrupted. All the Gryffindors snickered. Narcissa's eyes widened and squinted in a glaring position.

"Shut your mouth Black." 

"Make me Black." Sirius replied mockingly. Professor Kettleburn's eyes widened in shock.

"Now, now children settle down. We don't want to start a fight now, do we?" 

__

Like one already hasn't begun. Narcissa thought to herself. She remembered how Sirius was so kind to her, and so caring, like her own personal bodyguard, until that one faithful day, when they were separated by family and choices.

"Of course not Sir." Narcissa answered shortly after, scowling at her "dear" cousin's false accusations.

"Yeah.." mumbled Sirius. Narcissa completely _loathed _her cousin. Most people hated her, but it was only because of _him_. He had started the rumors, he had made the comments, he had said that _she _gave up on _him_. If they only _knew_...

~*~ **Memory**

It had been a cold day in June, cooler than expected, the frozen air kept your breath scarce and your eyes blurred. It was very unnatural for that time of the year. Blonde curls were covered by a silk frame, hiding the angelic face within. Light blue material, similar to Beauxbatons' natural color, was well identified against the setting fiery sun and harsh winds. Dark, ashened lashes blinked, revealing icy grey eyes, quite similar to blue. And pale, cold, cracked lips opened slightly, not used to the harsh weather in such a humid time of the summer.

"N-N, Alora what is that girl's name again?"

"Narcissa, Jedia." The girl's aunt answered.

"Oh yes. Narcissa darling!! Come here and greet Cousin Sirius! Heaven knows you haven't seen him since the end of First Year." Jedia shouted out to her daughter with a fake sugary tone.

"Yes mother." The one in light blue answered loud enough.

"N - N - What is it oh yes, Narcissa, you will speak more clearly and diligently or I shall ban you from certain privileges again."

"Yes, mother." Narcissa practically shrieked, her soft voice wasn't meant to be scratched upon through the fierce winds.

"You little brat, you will not use that tone with your Mother!" Alora, a Black by marriage, shouted at the young eleven-going-on-twelve year old.

"Sorry, Ma'am." Narcissa apologized in her soft tone.

"Well, come child. Rosetta, you piece of filth, bring Narcissa to her cousin." Jedia Black shouted at her child's nurse from birth. Rosetta Clarence flinched at her employer's tone, but took Narcissa gently by the arm anyway. Once inside Rosetta started swearing.

"Damn that bitch, thinks she's the bloody Queen Of England just because she's married to one of the richest men in the bloody world." Narcissa giggled lightly at her nurse's dark words, though used to hearing them.

"Careful Rose, if Mother heard that - ."

"She'd hang me by my fingers and make me scream, 'I'm a bloody nurse, world! Hear me roar!'" Rosetta interrupted, saying the last quote mockingly.

"Oh come now, she's not that bad." 

"You're lucky you're related to her, kiddo. Try working for her," Rosetta said, before letting out a long sigh slash groan. Narcissa and her nurse were very close, Rosetta had known Narcissa since she was a wee thing and that was the **only **reason Rosetta still worked there.

"I suppose that would be horrid, but don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"Sweetheart, harsh is what I get every day. Now darling, your cheeks are red with cold, get into your room and change into that nice gray dress of yours that your mother has so nicely ordered me to bitch to you to wear." Rosetta commanded, in her usual sarcastic tone.

"But of course, Miss Most Dominating Nurse Of the Year." Narcissa muttered, quite annoyed.

"And don't you forget it, sugar."

Narcissa found on her pink plush canopy bed the dull gray dress that Rosetta had mentioned. It had no sleeves and it complimented Narcissa's curves, yet it had no life. She left her loosely curled hair down, giving her a simple touch. And finishing her ensemble with a gray pair of sandals, similar to the style of ballet slippers, yet with a longer lace, and a dash of lip gloss she practically skipped downstairs to the cousin she adored, but had shunned her after first year. 

Two heads of black hair turned around. One, shaggy, the other, a very untidy do. 

"Hello Narcissa." The untidy haired one said.

"Hello - ." Narcissa had lost all knowledge of the young man's name.

"It's James, James Potter." The unfamiliar boy answered.

"Oh. Yes. Of course. James!"

"Hello Cousin." Narcissa flinched at her beloved cousin's cold tone.

"Why, hello Sirius! You stranger!" Narcissa joked, dismissing the unpleasant welcome she was given.

"Cousin, if you don't mind James and I have some discussing to do." Narcissa blinked.

"O-of course." Narcissa swiftly walked away, blinking back tears. Sitting against the cold tree trunk, not caring about her ruined dress or the cold temperature. _Damnit, no weaknesses._ Narcissa thought to herself, silently cursing the ever flowing tears betraying her state of mind. She heard footsteps behind her and quickly brushed away the forbidden tears.

"Cousin." A cold voice drawled behind her.

"Yes?" Narcissa answered, using the same tone cursed upon her own ears.

"We must talk."

"Of what?" Narcissa asked, her tone rising.

"Of our.. connections and relations."

"Meaning..?" She was confused by her cousin's words.

"Meaning, we cannot talk to each other or converse of our free will."

"Why not?"

"Because, it wouldn't look good for a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. People would talk. Narcissa, I'm doing this to protect you from the discrimination you'd get from other Slytherins." Sirius said, plainly. Too plainly for this kind of situation.

When no response came, Sirius silently walked to the Manor.

"You don't want to protect _me._ You just want to protect your _own bloody reputation._" Sirius was surprised by his quiet cousin's harsh, but true words.

"You _know_ that's not true!" Sirius shouted.

"Do I?"

A few silent moments followed.

"Apparently you don't. Therefore, I don't need to waste my time on someone who has no faith in me. And I just won't care about my baby cousin." Sirius softly said.

"So be it. Like you weren't going to do that before. Just state the obvious, Black." Narcissa glared.

"Don't be like this Narcissa please! You know I only want to protect you!"

"No! No, you don't! If you want to sever ties with me forever walk away! But if you want to continue to work on a compromise, stay! You're choice, Black! I'm tired of listening! It's your turn to listen! I'm tired of House Fights! I'm tired of the pranks you pull! I'm tired of _you!_" Narcissa said the last part, as if spitting out venom. Sirius stood there, shocked and slowly backed away.

He had made _his_ choice.

And that day Narcissa learned to shout.

~*~** In The Slytherin Common Room In The Present**

Narcissa lay on the couch, her feet on the arm of the chair. Classes had passed without much incident, fortunately enough. Sighing, moments ago finishing her load of homework, she walked upstairs to her bed. Sitting on the green alien silk her fingers lingered to the pictures that lay on her bedside table. Her index finger traced the frame of a picture when she was young. 

It was of herself, Andromeda, Bellatrix, Sirius, Regulus and Rosetta. Rosetta was considered family back then, that is until she pissed off Jedia Black to the greatest extremes one day. Anyway, they were all bright and smiling, thoughts of house differences the last thing on their minds. They were all waving and smiling brilliantly back at her, and for a moment she smiled back and went back to her original scowl. 

Andromeda was now gone, fulfilling her wildest dreams. They scarcely kept in contact, just to see if the other was alive.

Bellatrix was married to the biggest git in the world and in debt to the Dark Lord. Bellatrix no longer cared.

Sirius was a bastard. Enough said.

Regulus was also a bastard, but they still kept in contact.

And Rosetta.. it had been a cold October day last year when she had received the news Rosetta was killed, most likely by Jedia, but evidence had never showed up. Narcissa had been greatly distressed, but the hard glass exterior never showed it. 

Narcissa was betrayed when a few number of tears rolled down her cheeks, and a lump fell into her throat. She felt a pang at her heart, but dismissed it as fast as herself would allow her to.

Standing tall and elegant she walked to the door, taking one more glance at the picture and made her way to the Common Room where she held her cold exterior once more.

~*~ End

A/N: Please review my lovely people! After some grueling and "painful" editing I finally have this out.. much thanks goes out to ChristyCorr and Electryone for being my beta's.. and - and from now on every chapter will be at least 1500 words.. promise. Don't forget to press the beautiful purplish type colored button that says "Submit Review".. Flames are accepted, yet not very welcome.. always willing to take suggestions though.. oh and I promise there will be more Remus/Narcissa interaction in later chapters as my beta's have oh so pushed me into doing. Love ya!

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	4. Chapter Four

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Not My Own

Author: EbonyQuill

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Summary: Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon her. _"Never fall in love." _RL/NB What happens when fire..and ice clash. 

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Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter, please seek psychiatric help.

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Special thanks to **ChristyCorr **and** Electryone **for being the bloody best beta's in the world. :)

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A/N: Hi! First off, thanks to **elvencherry07 **(hehe thanks) **ChristyCorr **(You beta for me, yet you review.. that makes me happyfull. :D) **Ivy Crane **(Hehe.. I assure you Remus will have a big part in this chapter..) **Asian Angel to lazy to log in **(Aww! I didn't mean to make you cry! Lol..) **Alexia M **(Wow. I feel so special now.Ha! Well thank Electryone and Morgane and all the great writers of Narcissa/Remus for introducing it to moi. :D) **Jolinar of Malkshur **(Thank you! Your words are greatly appreciated!) Next off, I won't be able to update as often.. every other week maybe.. but that's the best I can do.. unless I spend my whole day on the comp. because I have about a million other things to do.. not to mention I have a "B" in math.. but no I have to always get "A's".. blah.

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Chapter 4 - Not My Own

Night fell upon the dark halls of Hogwarts, a rustle of feet could be heard throughout the corridors. That was most likely the late prefects, getting their new post assignments. The prefects' room was very cozy indeed: a warm fire, many couches and an announcement board. Not much, but comfortable. 

Suddenly, a soft young woman's voice was heard.

"Hello. I - I'm your um, new Head Girl, um, Tatiana Rebbons from, um, Ravenclaw." 

The Ravenclaw snobs who somehow got the role of Prefect started snickering, as Narcissa and Remus, simultaneously, gave them a cold glare. 

Narcissa raised an eyebrow when she saw Remus in the same position but dismissed it and turned around.

"And I am your Head Boy, Gilderoy Lockhart." 

Many girls sighed dreamily; Narcissa nearly puked.

"A - as many of you might know, um, there will be a Halloween ball this year." Narcissa heard a chorus of "Oh my god, James Potter _HAS_ to go with me!" "No, no Sirius Black is _waaay _cuter." "I prefer the quiet Remus Luuuuuupin." "You know, purple is _so _not your color." Narcissa rolled her eyes at it all.

"Yes, yes I know all of you want to go with me, but you're only allowed one date." Gilderoy said, shooting one of his brilliant smiles. Narcissa raised her hand.

"Y - yes?" Tatiana asked.

"What are the basics? Fourth years and up? Masquerade? Regular? Boy and girl? Etc.?"

"U - um, yes. I - I suppose. U - um, regular, not masquerade, um, caused many problems in the, um, past. Um, Gilderoy?" Tatiana turned to Gilderoy. 

Unfortunately, the Head Boy was admiring himself in a mirror.

"Oh, sorry what was that Tara?"

"Tatiana is her name, you idiot." Narcissa said, clenching her teeth.

"Oh, of course, my ever blossoming Narcissa." 

"Oh, go kiss your own ass." Narcissa muttered, so no one would hear. Remus' eyes widened slightly in amusement, hearing the soft-spoken comment. 

At the end of the meeting, Narcissa hastily got up and sped her way out. When she was clear from view, she let out a big sigh. For some reason, being in that room suffocated her. Apparently, someone felt the same way. 

In one second the two bodies were on the floor, groaning of pain.

"Oh shit, I'm really, really sorry - Narcissa?" A familiar, yet alien voice rang out.

"Don't waste your breath, Lupin." Narcissa said, glaring.

"I really am sorry." Remus said sincerely.

"That's what Sirius said after he pulled his first prank on me... look at us now." Narcissa sputtered, cold as ice.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Weird."

"God, why did I even tell you? Jesus, next thing you know I'll be helping out at the goddamned pound." 

Remus tried to conceal his laughter by biting his cheeks, and it worked - for a while. Suddenly Remus burst out laughing.

"And _what, _may I ask, is so funny?" Narcissa asked, glaring.

"Nothing.. just a random laugh."

"Mmhmm. I don't know why I'm even here. Good night." 

And with that Narcissa went to her Prefect Post. Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her.

"Would you look at _that_," none other than, Remus Lupin said.

Narcissa moaned. "Oh God, don't tell me we're watching the corridors together."

"That's what the Duties Paper says."

"_Damn_!"

"Well, good to know I'm loved." Remus glared. 

Narcissa looked shocked for a moment, then regained her strong composure.

"Ha. Ha. I'm not laughing, Lupin."

"Well neither am I."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine." 

"F - ."

"ALRIGHT! I _GET _IT!" Narcissa blasted. 

Remus slouched. "Fine then," he said softly. 

After a few minutes of silence and walking around the corridors, Remus started talking.

"So.. how's life?" 

Narcissa gave him a cold glare.

"What? You never said we couldn't talk." Remus replied, smiling slightly. 

__

Cute boyish smile, too bad it's placed on a bastard's face. Maybe if he wasn't friends with Sirius..

"Fine. Life is just grand." 

"That's _it_?"

"What?"

"I mean there has to be more to life, than '_just grand_.'" 

Narcissa stared blankly at him.

"So?"

"Well, life can't be grand; it has to be filled with hope, tears, and blood." 

Narcissa shivered at the last word. She _knew_ blood.

"Not if the person interrogated does _not _want to answer." Narcissa replied, glaring.

"Fine." Remus answered, pouting a bit. 

Silence swallowed the room after that, and neither felt like breaking it with awkward, pointless small talk. 

Finally, at ten pm, the shift was over and they walked to their respective common rooms. 

One, with the confusion of cracking a complicated puzzle; the other, reminiscing on the conversation that had just occurred. 

****

The Next Morning

Dimmed orange light made their way through the dark curtains that covered the grand windows of the Slytherin Girls' Dormitory. Two grey eyes revealed themselves to the brightness of the room. 

Narcissa thought for moment. 

'_We're in the dungeon.. how can there be - '_

The light flickered. _Click. _It was the sound of a Muggle camera.

"BLACK!" Narcissa shouted with rage. Four scurrying figures ran out of the room, leaving the occupants blinking in shock. Narcissa growled, putting on her respected Slytherin robe, combing her hair quickly, putting on her shoes and running to the Common Room. She swore as she bumped into someone. 

"Narcissa?" Regulus Black questioned his cousin.

"Out of my way, Regulus." Narcissa's temper flared for some reason as she ran out the door and to the Great Hall, listening to the fast footsteps. 

She heard a loud voice as she neared the Great Hall. 

"And ladies and gentlemen I present to you, the ugliest piece of morning sunshine man has ever let eyes on .. " Narcissa froze as she saw the pictures from the Dormitory bombard the room. Pictures were plastered all over the walls, even blocking the gloomy morning sky on the ceiling. Explosions of laughter filled the room, echoing and echoing. Narcissa covered her ears, then fell to the floor. Somehow the laughter made her dizzy and feel faint... no explainable cause had been discovered to this day. It was as if she had noise claustrophobia; and, when she tried to lean on the door for support, it opened and she was knocked out. She could only hear the laughter and a faint, "_Narcissa? Narcissa? Wake up!" _before she saw black.

"I'm not sure what happened, Ma'am... she just fell and some idiot opened the door right in front of her." 

"Well, get the poor dear here." Narcissa's limp body occupied a hospital bed. 

"Will she be al - ?"

"She'll be fine, dear. Why don't you run along, you'll be late for classes, won't you?"

"They can wait."

"Go anyway, I assure you, she'll be fine. And I'll be sure to tell her who her Prince Charming is." 

Remus' eyes widened in horror. "Oh, please don't! If you did, I wouldn't hear the end of it!" 

Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow suspicously, but nodded her head slightly in consent.

"Run along then." 

In reality, Remus fled to Transfiguration… but his mind remained with Narcissa. 

****

A Few Hours Later

"What do you _MEAN _I was knocked out the whole morning?!" 

"I mean, you were out cold all morning, Miss Black. Now if you would lower your voice."

"Oh I am so dead. I had a DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS test today! God knows that's my worst subject!" 

A very hassled Madame Pomfrey sighed at the exploding girl in front of her, a very annoyed Narcissa Black was shouting for all it was worth, and the rest of the inhabitants were frightened.

"Please, lower your voice. You will be able to make everything up later on."

"But _still_ - .

"

"Hush, now! You will rest until I say otherwise."

"But - ."

"Pfft, no buts. Lay down.. or _else_!" 

Narcissa crossed her arms in protest and huffed, admitting to be defeated. 

Pomfrey walked away muttering something about 'obscene, overreacting drama queens.'

'_How _dare _she keep me here like an animal? How dare they let me miss Defense Against The Dark Arts.. I probably have what, an 89 now_...' 

Narcissa winced at the thought. She wasn't a perfectionist, but that's what she was expected to be. Filling with emotion, she let her heart and mind take place of her private diary.

__

'Why? Why must I live in a life of perfection? Of scorn? Of hate? Is there no justice that in a young mind of mine is to be filled with dark thoughts and feeling? Am I not destined to be saved? Am I to be swept away in the crying river of scorn into the ocean of broken hearts? Shall I flow as my authorities tell me to? Or shall I paddle the rough river to become my own self. I am haunted by my elders and the conscience outside my own. My elders haunt my reality. Myself haunts my heart and my mind. Which lie is worst to live? To never be myself? Or to be haunted by whom I truly am? Am I the fallen angel with the broken wing and missing halo? Am I the missing spawn of Satan being the evil seductress I've been taught to be? This is my own life, isn't it? Do I really have the right to call myself, my own? I don't belong to myself. I don't think my own thoughts. I don't do my own actions. I don't say my own words. I am **not my own**.'

****

A/N: I am sooo sorry for the long long wait. I could give you a list of explanations including I was grounded but I wish not to bore you. Please review! It's greatly appreciated. Oh yes.. I have some very special thanks to go out.

****

ChristyCorr - Thank you for being my beta.. and I'm especially sorry for the suspense and patience you had to go through and get a sucky chapter like this! 

****

Electryone - You're help is greatly appreciated, I'm really really sorry for the delay of this chapter and getting a stupid chapter like this one.. really really sorry! And for that one comment you had about Narcissa being popular and being intimidating, her roommates were also in that picture so it wasn't entirely aimed on her.. hope that makes sense. Oh and this is 6th year, just to remind you.. heh.


	5. Chapter Five

Special Note: There are no bold, italics, etc. in this chapter because it made fanfiction.net give it weird spacing.. yeah.  
  
Not My Own  
  
Author: EbonyQuill  
  
Summary: Narcissa Black had her life laid before her, she had to read it, memorize it, and follow it. But now she disagrees with one of the rules befallen upon her. "Never fall in love." RL/NB What happens when fire and ice clash.  
  
Disclaimer: Five reasons why I'm not J.K. Rowling. 1) I'm not British. 2) I don't have blonde hair. 3) I don't have half the imagination to come up with Harry Potter. 4) I live in America, don't have a British accent, and have black hair and brown eyes. Oh – and I don't have an ounce of such a good imagination in me. 5) Repeat all of the above plus oodles and oodles of money.  
  
A/N: I have the thank you's at the bottom since there's so many. Twelve people to review Chapter Four, which made me superificly happy. Sorry for the long, long delay, but life being a little itch behind the ear – well, you get it. For anyone who cares, Internet Chat got taken down by fanfiction.net.. it wasn't my doing, well it kind of was, kind of wasn't. I'm thinking of putting it up on a personal site, so if you want just email me at angel_in_ruby@yahoo.com. Spam me and I spam you even harder, ;).  
  
Special, special thanks goes to my betas who are so encouraging and helpful. You know who you are.  
  
Chapter Five Narcissa walked through the halls with grace, in the direction of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She strolled on the sidelines of some sort of fight between the Marauders and some Slytherins, Snape being one of them. She rolled her eyes.   
"Professor?" A head of auburn stuck out from a filing cabinet.  
  
"Why, hello Miss Black, feeling better?"  
  
"Somewhat," Narcissa replied, the volume of her voice soft.  
  
"Good to hear," the Professor said cheerfully. "How may I help you dear?"  
  
"Just wondering if I can take the test I missed yesterday," Narcissa said  
nonchalantly.  
  
"It's not like you need it, you have a very high B in this class but I  
suppose you can if you want," Professor Drinn said, looking through some  
files.  
  
"A B?! Is there any way I could get a tutor?" Narcissa asked, appalled at  
the below perfection grade.  
  
Professor Drinn gave Narcissa a funny look, but smiled. "I don't think  
you need one, my dear. I'm not so sure about that Goyle boy in your  
class, though. Tell you what, I'll give you that A if you tutor someone  
for me."  
  
Narcissa grinned. "Alright then."  
  
"Great, I'll give you all the details at lunch through owl. Oh - and I  
excused you from the test."  
  
"Great, thanks Professor," Narcissa replied, smiling; however, as soon as  
she walked out she held a melancholy look.  
  
"Stupid Professor, making me baby-sit some twit for a grade that gives me  
perfection. Perfection is the only thing my parents want," She muttered  
bitterly. She walked to the third floor corridor talking to herself  
amidst the presence of numerous portraits.  
  
"Why hello, Narcissa!" A portrait said happily.  
  
"Hello Great Aunt Marianon," Narcissa greeted pleasantly.  
  
"How are you?"  
  
"Quite fine, but if you'll excuse me, I really have to get going,"  
Narcissa started and waved goodbye to her pictured relative. Walking  
towards the fourth floor corridor she noticed boys running to the  
Hospital Wing. Curious, she followed them and laughed at what she saw. It  
was Sirius and Severus trying to kill each other - except they were both  
frozen by hexes.  
  
"Humorous, isn't it?" A voice beside her said. Narcissa looked to her  
side.  
  
"I suppose, granted, I know both of them," Narcissa commented  
nonchalantly. Remus laughed.  
  
"I suppose that does help. Are you alright? You know - since your, well,  
collapse," Remus asked out of pure concern.  
  
"I'm not in bed, moaning in pain, now am I?" Narcissa replied,  
sarcastically. Remus smiled widely.  
  
"I suppose not." Madame Pomfrey had come in the scene, red in the face,  
screaming at the two boys. Remus laughed amused.  
  
"Mr. Lupin! I hope you had nothing to do with this!" Pomfrey screeched  
angrily.  
  
"Nothing, nothing at all, Madame," Remus said, casually.  
  
"Do you have an alibi?" Madame Pomfrey asked suspiciously.  
  
"Yes, he was with me, we were working on some plans for the next Prefect  
meeting," Narcissa said, staring at her fingernails. Remus looked at her  
with wide eyes and a dropped mouth.  
  
"Alright then," Pomfrey replied skeptically. And then she left to tend to  
the 'stupid boys who I'm surprised even passed first year.' Remus looked  
at Narcissa with grateful eyes.  
  
"Thanks, I honestly didn't want another detention to taint my record."  
  
"It was nothing. I mean, you did somewhat help me to the Hospital Wing  
when I fainted," Narcissa said, walking away. Remus followed her.  
  
"How did you -? Did Pomfrey tell -? When did you -? I mean, you must be  
thinking about someone else," Remus question, coughing innocently.  
  
Narcissa stopped and turned around, leaving only a few inches between her  
and Remus.  
  
"You know, I wouldn't become an Auror or Unspeakable if I were you,  
because you're a really bad liar," Narcissa expressed with sarcasm.  
  
"Yes, well, I wouldn't have been able to be any of those occupations,  
anyway," He said bitterly.  
  
"I'm sorry," Narcissa apologized softly, somewhat confused at what he  
meant. A disease, maybe? It couldn't have been his grades or maybe he  
couldn't – Narcissa didn't want to ponder or think right now, her eyes  
somehow drifted to Remus' lips and wondered how they would feel covering  
her own.  
  
"Doesn't matter," Remus replied, brushing it off. Narcissa smiled  
unconciously, feeling her heart flip and her throat tighten at the sound  
of his voice.  
  
"For some reason, I don't know why, but you have this really awkward way  
of making me feel bad for you one second and the next, I want to wring  
your neck," Narcissa said, her voice airy. Their eyes met for a few  
seconds and Narcissa felt blood rushing to her head.  
  
"For some reason, I have this immense hunger to kiss you," Remus said,  
before closing in the space between them and kissed Narcissa lightly on  
the lips. Surprised at first, Narcissa relaxed into the kiss and returned  
it. Narcissa broke away, turning away, causing her cheek to brush against  
Remus' lips. Narcissa looked at the ground in confusion.  
  
"I'm sorry, I know we, somewhat, just met and we have great differences -  
but.." Remus started, but was interrupted by Narcissa.  
  
"I have to go," Narcissa said, then walking away to the Slytherin Common  
Room not waiting for an explanation, leaving Remus stunned. Narcissa sat  
on the nearest chair, twirling a blonde hair on her head, touching her  
lips with two fingers, then mentally pushing away her fingers. She was  
about to wipe her lips with the sleeve of her gray sweater, when she  
delicately put her arm back down on the armrest. She felt so confused and  
kept thinking of Lucius and her betrothal to him. It wasn't official, but  
it was quite real. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes in a  
flustered and angry manner. She didn't allow them to fall on the already  
horrendous features that she hated to call her own. She walked to her  
dormitory and closed her curtains, lying on her stomach, elbows on her  
pillow.  
  
'This is crazy! Bloody lunacy! How dare he kiss me! But damn me for  
kissing him back. He's a friend of Sirius! There's no way we can be, even  
if I wasn't betrothed to Lucius. He's in Gryffindor! And I'm in Slytherin  
- and - and. Oh god - I'm just making excuses to forgive myself for  
kissing him back.. damn his lips for being so kiss-able and - soft,'  
Narcissa thought angrily.  
  
"Narcissa?" A voice in the distance asked in a snobby matter.  
  
"What do you want, Nott?"  
  
"Did you hear about the fight?" Coral Nott went on to fill her in with  
the 'juicy' facts. Narcissa pretended to look interested, but her  
thoughts drifted off to the Gryffindor who didn't seem to take part in  
the fight.  
  
"And then that stupid Lupin boy froze them both just when it was getting  
good. Such a damn pity, too," Coral finished.  
  
"Lupin stopped it? I was almost sure that he started it," Narcissa said,  
surprised.  
  
"No, it was that undeserving cousin of yours," Coral replied, holding her  
mascara in one hand, then applying it to her face, which had too much  
makeup already.  
  
"What a dumb ass," Narcissa said, trying to sound like the real Slytherin  
she was, but kept thinking about Lupin and his good morals.  
  
"Oh my god, I am so hungry, do you want to go down to the Great Hall?  
They should be serving lunch, now."  
  
"Oh, yeah.. sure." They went down to the Great Hall, Coral giving rude  
looks to anyone whom dared to look at them.  
  
"Yeah, Mudblood. Walk away." Coral said to a small Hufflepuff girl who  
was scurrying away under the glare of Coral. Narcissa sighed and rolled  
her eyes. When going through the great oak doors of the Great Hall, she  
dared a glance at the Gryffindor table where she noticed Remus trying to  
catch her eye. She looked away quickly and followed Coral to the  
Slytherin table where she was welcomed with sneers and pleasant smiles.  
Having had a very popular older sister in this House had many great  
advantages and earned Narcissa great respect. She sat down and a random  
owl flew to her side. Coral gave her a look.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Narcissa gave her a look, also.  
  
"An owl, duh."  
  
"Well I know that, I meant the thing attached to its foot."  
  
"A letter, idiot," Narcissa commented, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Well, what's in it?" Coral asked, flipping her brown hair.  
  
"I don't know, I haven't opened it yet, you twit," Narcissa replied.  
  
"Well, then open it!" Coral said, annoyed. Narcissa opened it and scanned  
the words quickly,  
  
'Miss Black,  
  
I would first like to thank you for your dedication to your schoolwork  
and helping a student in the study of Defense Against the Dark Arts.  
Second of all, I assure you, if you do this assignment, I won't only give  
you an A in my class, but I will also give thirty points to the Slytherin  
House. Good luck! The Student information is in the other page of this  
letter.  
  
Dayanora Drinn.'  
  
"Tutoring?" Coral asked, quite rudely.  
  
"Anything for the good of Slytherin house," Narcissa replied,  
convincingly. She looked at the second page and frowned.  
  
'Narcissa,  
  
You have been assigned to tutor Nina Jorkins, year 5, because of her poor  
grades in Defense Against the Dark Arts. You will both meet at the  
Defense Against the Dark Arts room on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6 to  
7:30 P.M. The Hogwarts' staff is very thankful for your participation in  
making this student's academic life better.'  
  
"Chatterbox the Second?!" Coral laughed loudly, which sounded quite  
similar to a banshee.  
  
"Great, just great," Narcissa said, licking her teeth distastefully. She  
shot glances at Nina, who didn't seem to know who her tutor was. She put  
a scarce piece of chicken on her plate and nibbled on it for a few  
seconds, then claimed she was full.  
  
"I'll meet you back at the Slytherin Common Room, Coral," she said,  
before walking out. She walked to an empty classroom and waited beside  
the entrance, as though hiding from anyone who was outside, intending to  
keep suspicion low. She heard footsteps and braced herself. She saw a  
head of black. Narcissa widened her eyes in surprise, showing the  
slightest hint of fear.  
  
A/N: It's here! It's done! It's out of my hair! Now to the oh-so patient reviewers, what lovely people they are. (Ivy Crane) You're a very lovely reviewer and somehow always review first. ï I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you! (mystic fire demon) I love it, too!! (Christy Corr) This isn't *as long*, per se.. but we have to keep the suspense going in short little ones.. not as short, but – okay, I'll stop typing now. :D. (Asian Angel) I'm sooorry! But I think I apologized to you in Yahoo as well as the rest of the readers.. well, now. Narcissa digging her knee into Sirius' ahem wouldn't be so lady-like. Hehe. (elvencherry07) I need to read the Herald soon.. I haven't been to fanfiction.net in uhh forever. (Morgane) I looove your story, but never get the chance to read it! Slytherin Narcissa is so fun to write. (Alexia Lupin) Remus is lovely, lol. And Narcissa's just rawr.. hehe. (Jolinar of Malkshur) Ack! I have to make Sirius loveable again! (Incognito 00) Reminds me I need to read the rest of 'Bonds'. Remus/Narcissa is just such a great pairing, never really gave it any mind until.. until.. hmm. I guess, sometime, on a rainy day, long ago. Heh. (Burning Flam3) Ah, the ever changing name person. I like all of them, actually, lol. I was grounded because my – hmm, so far along ago I can't remember why. Hehe, thanks for reviewing TWICE! You rock. (Foxy Bon Bon) If soon is a couple of months I guess its ok..heh. (Quill of Eccentricity) You're so sweet for reviewing all my stories, very very kind of you. Even the ones I haven't considered in months. 


	6. Chapter Six Apology to Readers

**Chapter Six**

"Cousin?" The faintest sound came out of Narcissa's mouth as she mindlessly moved her left hand to her collarbone as if it would protect her character. The young man turned around and smiled with a cheap, toothy grin.

"Perfect, pretty, wonderful Narcissa – oh how you're mother has raved about you for years and years. Now I feel foolish, myself, for having you in such high regard myself. He's not like the rest of us, you know." Regelus Black leaned in on the doorway trying to seem sleek and superior, something Sirius would have easily done without knowing.

Narcissa looked at him with cold eyes. "I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you going on about, you twit?"

Regelus looked at her with a pleased smile that made her sick and wishing she hadn't lied with such a cold tongue because Regelus knew his cousin very well, more than she would have been comfortable with. "Don't play stupid with me, Narcissa. We know you're smarter than that."

"We do?" Narcissa added, her tone dripping with bore and sarcasm.

Regelus looked coolly at her, but his smile still remained. "You know, you're the biggest scandal of the Black family no matter what Mother says about Sirius. Who cares about my foolish brother being a Gryffindor and fraternizing with Mudbloods if you're sleeping with one?"

Narcissa quickly made the space between herself and Regelus disappear. She raised a hand to strike his cheek as he grabbed her arm and started twisting it. She showed struggle in her face and when she realized it, she spat in his. Regelus let go and wiped his cheek with his sleeve and laughed maliciously as Narcissa ran through the door and down the hall.

"Why, you little brat, I must have touched a very sensitive spot! I hope you don't mind blackmail! Blackmail seems to attract whores like you!" Regelus shouted down the hall with a laugh.

Narcissa stopped and looked back. "What do you want from me? I don't have anything that you don't possess!"

"You know, I am a very nice person. Come with me to a Death Eaters meeting and I'll keep your little secret." Regelus held his arm where the sign of the dark clan had scarred him.

Narcissa looked at him and tears filled up in her eyes. She walked towards him slowly and touched his arm with one fragile finger and pulled it back, holding her hand closely to her chest.

"I thought you said – you said you wouldn't. Regelus, how could you be so – why?" Narcissa tried to screech at him, reprimand him, but her words came out as choked sobs.

"You don't understand, Narcissa. It makes me feel powerful. It's like a drug, an addiction – a good one!" Regelus had stepped forward, moving his hands as he talked. Narcissa took two steps back and she heard the noise of hearty, accomplished laughs. When she looked back, she saw the Marauders, of course. And she was glad for it. When she looked back in the direction Regelus had been, he disappeared.

"Well, well. Hello Black. You seem to be alone, dear cousin. Just innocently waiting to be the target of our next –," Sirius stopped suddenly. "James, get to the kitchens. I expect a feast in my honor. Peter, get a camera or something, Narcissa's embarrassment will be monumental! And Remus read a book or something." Sirius gave the rest of them a look to scatter.

"Sirius, honestly, I don't think this is the time, nor the pla ." Remus started.

Sirius looked at him. "Moony." It was a warning tone. Narcissa had looked away, her eyes lingering on the opposite exit.

"I must insist, Sirius, she's alone. It's not in our nature to bully people around. It's always only words or innocent pranks or Sirius, come on. We have better things to do," Remus stated, almost begging to be in any other place at any other time.

"Moony, lay off," James said, lazily, raising an eyebrow.

Remus looked at James, then Peter, then Sirius. "Don't you have homework or something? Plus, even if we do waste our breath, she'll take away points. She's a Prefect, remember?"

"And we'll earn them just as easily because we're smart and talented, Remus. Just get out of the way!" Sirius shouted as Remus made his way between the other boys and Narcissa.

Sirius looked at him, surprised and aghast in a way that almost said "Are you kidding me?" He looked as if he were going to strike the next person who touched him and then his posture softened. He walked to Moony and put a hand on his shoulder, patting him a number of times.

"We're taking a raincheck Narcissa. Have a nice day." Sirius blandly stated. Narcissa blinked and walked towards them and brushed Remus' shoulder as she headed to the Slytherin common rooms. Coral was always a wonderful person to take her frustrations out on.

A/N: Okay, this is going to be a long author's note. And a short story. You good people deserve more than an explanation and something more than apologies. What can I say? I screwed up my computer slaving away. And I lost a muse. And just tonight at ten P.M. it came back to me. It's been over a year and I've probably lost all my original readers. And I apologize. Seriously though, I came back! That kind of gets me brownie points. You have no idea how big all your reviews have made my ego. But next chapter I have confrontations. Those are good. It's sort of not that big of a surprise. It will be between two Marauders, a Marauder and Narcissa, and gasp - Narcissa and someone else. I'm a cornball and you probably might know. I again, apologize for the last chapter and I'll try to make it better. Honestly, I've forgot most of the plot I've made this story around. Also, I apologize to my betas for not sending this first, but it's just one of those things that beyond the grammar, you have to do with your gut. Thanks a lot - Alison.


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: Horrible filler. Sorry. Thank you for the reviews. They really, really cheered me up. Especially those who reviewed after my long, long, long leave of absence. My computer destroyed the last chapter. Pissed Alison was, yes. I think after this chapter I might write two more and then take it all back for editing. Because let's face it.. my editing sucks. Badly. (Completely not my beta's faults. Mine because I didn't send them to them first. Oops.) Again not sent to beta's to crunch time. But they will see them!

* * *

"Narcissa?"

"What is it you stupid imbecile? Can't you see I'm distressed!" The blonde Black screeched at Coral who gripped onto the green armrest with anger. Coral looked at her disgustedley,

"Well since you're in such a bitchy mood, maybe I won't tell you that you got a package from home, skank."

Narcissa gave a tart, sadistic laugh, "Look who's talking!"

Coral looked truly hurt and took out her wand. Instead of shouting a curse she jumped at Narcissa's throat. Coral started choking her until Narcissa kicked her knee and weakly punched her in the nose. A crowd had gathered around them and Coral proceeded to pull and tug at her fellow Slytherin's hair.

"Catfight!" The best things never last. Soon after the fight started, it ended. Both girls ended up laying down on the ground, tired and weak. The end of it was when Coral reached over slowly with much effort and slapped Narcissa. (It was more like a pat anyway.) Thus Coral won and was cheered on by the crowd. Both girls ended up with bruises on every slap on skin and Coral had a black eye.

Narcissa turned over to her side so she would be facing Coral. With a forced breath she stated, "Coral. I truly am lucky to have a friend like you."

"Likewise Black. Likewise," Coral put both hands on her stomach and continued to breath heavily. Narcissa truly gained her best friend that afternoon.

When they went to the Infirmary, together they concocted a story of stray gnomes and the Whomping Willow. The nurse was too tired that day to question them, certainly to the sly Slytherins' advantage.

"I have Charms homework. I'll see you after dinner," Coral waved goodbye to Narcissa and Narcissa smiled at her cinnamon-skinned, green-eyed friend. Narcissa was on her way when she heard a voice she despised.

"Wait!" She turned around and put her hand in her robe where her wand was. "Don't! I come in peace, I swear on my mother's grave!"

"Last I heard you wanted her dead?" Narcissa put her wand to her side and faced her _favorite _cousin looking straight at his pleading brown eyes.

"She's on the list," Sirius started to joke and then remembered with whom he was talking to. He put a solemn look on his face and started edging closer to Narcissa.

She looked at him, visibly annoyed, "Well what do you want?"

"Regulus told you, didn't he?" Sirius brushed his hand through his hair and then put both hands in his pockets and became very interested at his new loafers. The lighter haired one of the paired look at him dumbfounded. "You didn't think I knew? Please Narcissa, he's my brother. No matter how much I despise him - I know when something is wrong."

"Why didn't you stop him!" Narcissa spat angrily, tears filling up in her eyes.

Sirius looked at her with his eyebrows raised, "You're blaming me for his stupid mistake!"

"You could've stopped him, couldn't you? He's going to die because of you! Because of what you didn't do!" Narcissa's tears couldn't hold themselves. She started sobbing. She tasted salt water as she continued bickering with the confused boy across from her.

"Do you think I want my only brother of blood to die? Do you think I want him to suffer? Do you!" Sirius raged.

"Padfoot what the hell are you doing!" James looked at both of the Black's and thought the worse of his friend. He knew that Narcissa never cried and she also looked pretty distraught and her bruises from Coral shined through the makeup Madame Pomfrey had given her."What did you do to her?"

Sirius looked at James. "Piss off James. Just please - come back later and play hero then."

"Sirius you know you can go too far sometimes, just back off!" James looked at Narcissa who had the same look of contempt as his friend.

"I don't need your help, Potter!" Narcissa forced herself to say through the blinding tears trickling down her face. Sirius made a sound closely related to a growl and turned away in a huff with James trying to catch up with him. Narcissa just stood there leaning on the wall and staring at the portraits who had seen the whole ordeal. A particular witch in an ugly, moth-eaten hat and matching violet suit and jacket felt the need to make a comment,

"He was only trying to connect with you, dear." Narcissa looked at the painting and felt like giving it a lashing, but then she realized the old hag was right. She twirled a piece of hair and wiped the sweat off her brow. She stormed off. She wasn't hungry anymore.

"Narcissa.." She had bumped into another person not-so-gracefully. Another Gryffindor, another Marauder, another unwanted argument. She realized how close she was to him and it intoxicated her mind with dirty thoughts. She quickly stepped back.

She mumbled, "Sorry, my fault." She started heading the completely opposite direction she was going.

"I really - er," Remus thought of the most _perfect _time to hesitate.

Narcissa replied in a more harsher way than she had intended, "Well spit it out."

"The thing is.." Remus seemed to be fiddling with something in his pocket. Narcissa's eyes softened and she felt like crying again. "Well, are you okay? You seem, well, your eyes are red."

"Narcissa! Is this Gryffindor bothering you?" Coral had apparently finished her homework early. The downfall of best friends. Narcissa hardened her face,

"No, he's just pointing out how shallow men are. Just because a _bird_ doesn't put much effort in makeup or other stupid things like that, means she's distraught. Isn't that right!" Narcissa started walking away and playing with her hands at the hurt expression on his face. She gave herself a mental slap remembering how horrible she _did _look because of her previous fight with Coral. Coral quickly caught up with Narcissa and linked arms with her.

"Don't worry. Coral has your back."

Narcissa looked at her and feigned a laugh, "As long as you don't stab it."


End file.
